Tag Archives: violence

Mel’s Meltdown

16 Jul

I’m a normal guy. I get pissed every once in a while. And on occasion the person pissing me off is a girlfriend. Do I shout? I have. Have I used profanity? Yup, rarely, but it has crept into my arguments. Am I proud of it? Not a chance.

The problem with anger is that it smolders beneath an emotional kindling box and with the right application of fuel, can turn into a raging fire. I don’t know Mel personally, but it’s evident from the excerpts of his explosion last week, that he had some very hot kindling waiting to be ignited.

After the fire has burned itself out, as it does in most cases, we are left with the aftermath and that can be a private or public affair. Mel’s case in not unique; there are plenty of men who have blown a gasket during a discussion with a loved one and lived to regret it. In Mel’s case, we all heard it and now the recriminations and the career fallout is underway.

Mel wasn’t the first to have a meltdown that made its way into the public arena; think Alec Baldwin having it out with his daughter or Christian Bale’s tirade on the set of Terminator. All of these guys let their anger control their behaviour. They all faced public derision, but in the end Alec and Christian were able to save their careers. For Mel, it may be more difficult. He’s already had one anti-Semitic meltdown and was just brushing off the ashes from that incident when this latest outburst took place. It’s hard to say whether the public will forgive him a second time.

Regardless, Mel needs to look deep within himself to understand the turbulent emotional forces that were shaping his perspective the day he verbally assaulted his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva.

Like Mel, men have the capacity for great love and great destruction. Turning the love inwards could help us from turning the destruction outwards. It is clear to me that whatever was taking place between Mel and Okasana was one that had been bothering Mel for some time and finally erupted. By learning to love ourselves (without being narcissistic or vain), we can define boundaries in our lives that can guide others from crossing that line. When that line does get crossed, if we love ourselves, we will make choices that maintain our emotional safety before we ever get to a place where we begin to burry it under a smoldering anger.